21 December 2006

Running

Running

Rat race in full swing

Running to stand still

Underpaid, overworked, taxed to the hilt

Two weeks holiday crammed into one

Dreams of escaping fuelled briefly


Shades of grey defining seasons

Light grey where summer blue should be

Winter’s dark and leaden skies oppress

A week’s holiday crammed into a long weekend

Dreams of escaping dimly remembered


Work engulfs, targets raised

Deadlines made and missed

Rumours fly, speculation abounds

A long weekend becomes one day flextime

There was a dream once

Wasn’t there?

07 December 2006

We had some upsetting news today. Our dog's annual leishmaniosis blood test result came back showing that he is positive, slightly. The vets haven't really explained what slightly means, they've just said have him tested again in 3 months, poor Connor. Poor Geoff, I don't know how he'll cope if his baby gets sick :-(

Dark Places

Can you really pinpoint the moments that changed your life? The events that make us what we are?

The days, dark days, special days or just different days that shape and mould the adults we will become.

Or is it just wishful thinking? Something or someone else to blame for our own inadequacies.

Can you really blame a seven year old bully for making us fear ridicule as an adult?

Can you blame the thoughtless adult because a careless word or two brings the insecurities crashing in?

Or is it all inside, bottled up, stemmed, hidden. Given the time of day only in the dark of night when no-one is there to pick fault or tell you to pick yourself up, pull yourself together, not to be so stupid.

When no-one is there to pick up the pieces, to re-assure, to still the echo of the seven year old child that is crying out to be heard, to be allowed to be without judgement.

When there is only you, only me, only ones self to ask the questions that will remain unanswered in the maelstrom of the quiet times.

Quelled by the arrival of the day and the need to move on, forgive, forget.

Until next time.

05 December 2006

Damn!

Three is not the magic number. Coincidence 3 was not what I had hoped, although the connection was there, just not the right one. This time. I keep hoping.

04 December 2006

Do You Believe in Coincidence?

They say things happen in three's, whoever 'they' are :-/ But do they, or is it just coincidence? Is it a sign, someone or something saying Go For It!, or wishful thinking when the dream refuses to give up and die. Three things happened yesterday and third hasn't played itself out yet so I still don't know but my heart is stronger than my head so fate is still in the lead.

The first was my horoscope, always believed when it sounds good! This is what it said -

Hit rewind and you'll see a few opportunities you've overlooked. These possibilities still remain -- it's just a question of seeking them out. Timing is everything when reigniting sparks, so wait for the right moment.

Then I checked the rest of my emails and I had a comment on my blog, thank you Natalie, which seemed to tie in with the horoscope.

The third and perhaps strangest of the three was a note pushed under my front door sometime on Sunday evening. An aquaintance, don't know him well enough to call a friend yet but well enough to know he's trustworthy, wanted to speak to me about something of mutual interest. I've tried to phone him today and vice versa but we keep missing each other and the longer I wait the more my curiousity grows.

Three things, on the same day, linked to my post of the previous day. Is Three the magic number?

01 December 2006

One Day

Woke up this morning and thought today would have been the day, if only!

If only I was more determined, if only I had more money, if only the woman who was gonna rent us the shop hadn't pulled out for no good reason, if only the other place hadn't been sooo small and twice the rent!

If all those things were different then today would have been the day my bookshop opened, La Libreria.

Of course if it had happened I would been working 7 days a week from now on cos I would have had to also sell newspapers & magazines and stuff to make it pay but since I don't really do anything at all at the moment it would have been OK. For a while!

Oh well, one day, if it's meant to be, it'll happen.

29 November 2006

Just back from 10 days in cold, wet England. Nice shops, shame about the weather!

17 November 2006

Lazy Days

Eyes open slowly

And quickly shut tight

Sunlight too strong to take

Blissful darkness takes over

Snuggled in warm duvet

But the day beckons

Nagging, insistent vamp

Cajoling from slumber

Enticing from dreams

Wakefulness drifts in

Aided by shrill alarm

Hit snooze button, checkmate

16 November 2006

I had my first piece of work published today, or yesterday depending on the time zone when this is posted :-/ It's only in a local freebie newspaper/magazine; but it's there, in print, with my name at the end, WOW! I keep looking at it, just to make sure it's real :-)

13 November 2006

The Last Day of Summer

A chill breeze steals the warmth from the sunless day; insidious in its demand for attention.

“Summer’s gone, summer’s dead” seems to be the soft whisper of the breeze, heard beneath the cheerful banter of the last visitors and the ever optimistic drone of ‘Hey Baby’ from the stereo.

Chocolate Surprise Sundaes are rejected in favour of Treacle Sponge and Custard as the day succumbs to the breeze and the chill reaches beyond the beach, past the paseo and slips into the sheltered confines of the terrace. Tugging at turned up collars, denied by the jeans that have replaced shorts, only discarded serviettes paying it scant attention.

Remnants of summer linger, forlorn dog-eared flyers drift into corners of car parks, carelessly discarded ice-cream wrappers blowing like tumbleweed, assisted by that oh so insistent chill breeze; determined to push summer away.

Back out, across the paseo, beyond the beach, the sea joins in the sombre mood of the day. Gone is the blue sparkling light dancing off the waves, replaced with an angry churning grey, like unpolished steel, crashing onto the beach with murky grey breakers.

But far, far out to sea a tiny break in the clouds allows a glimmer of sunlight to trickle through. A tiny ray of hope on the distant horizon.

10 November 2006

The sun is out at last :-) Woke to the sound of rain for the 5th morning in a row. Another dismal grey day in sight and the depression was sinking deeper. Is it possible to have S.A.D. after only 4 sunless days? No problem now though, the sun came out around 12.00 and every ray lifts my mood a little higher!

09 November 2006

Dreamscapes

Strange landscapes

Altered states

Images changing without warning

Solid ground

Instantly quicksand

Then marshland

Then no land

Floating in mid air

Choice removed

Until sunlight wakes the dreamer