Running

Running

Rat race in full swing

Running to stand still

Underpaid, overworked, taxed to the hilt

Two weeks holiday crammed into one

Dreams of escaping fuelled briefly

Shades of grey defining seasons

Light grey where summer blue should be

Winter’s dark and leaden skies oppress

A week’s holiday crammed into a long weekend

Dreams of escaping dimly remembered

Work engulfs, targets raised

Deadlines made and missed

Rumours fly, speculation abounds

A long weekend becomes one day flextime

There was a dream once

Wasn’t there?

We had some upsetting news today. Our dog's annual leishmaniosis blood test result came back showing that he is positive, slightly. The vets haven't really explained what slightly means, they've just said have him tested again in 3 months, poor Connor. Poor Geoff, I don't know how he'll cope if his baby gets sick :-(

Dark Places

Can you really pinpoint the moments that changed your life? The events that make us what we are?

The days, dark days, special days or just different days that shape and mould the adults we will become.

Or is it just wishful thinking? Something or someone else to blame for our own inadequacies.

Can you really blame a seven year old bully for making us fear ridicule as an adult?

Can you blame the thoughtless adult because a careless word or two brings the insecurities crashing in?

Or is it all inside, bottled up, stemmed, hidden. Given the time of day only in the dark of night when no-one is there to pick fault or tell you to pick yourself up, pull yourself together, not to be so stupid.

When no-one is there to pick up the pieces, to re-assure, to still the echo of the seven year old child that is crying out to be heard, to be allowed to be without judgement.

When there is only you, only me, only ones self to ask the questions that will remain unanswered in the maelstrom of the quiet times.

Quelled by the arrival of the day and the need to move on, forgive, forget.

Until next time.

Damn!

Three is not the magic number. Coincidence 3 was not what I had hoped, although the connection was there, just not the right one. This time. I keep hoping.

Do You Believe in Coincidence?

They say things happen in three's, whoever 'they' are :-/ But do they, or is it just coincidence? Is it a sign, someone or something saying Go For It!, or wishful thinking when the dream refuses to give up and die. Three things happened yesterday and third hasn't played itself out yet so I still don't know but my heart is stronger than my head so fate is still in the lead.

The first was my horoscope, always believed when it sounds good! This is what it said -

Hit rewind and you'll see a few opportunities you've overlooked. These possibilities still remain -- it's just a question of seeking them out. Timing is everything when reigniting sparks, so wait for the right moment.

Then I checked the rest of my emails and I had a comment on my blog, thank you Natalie, which seemed to tie in with the horoscope.

The third and perhaps strangest of the three was a note pushed under my front door sometime on Sunday evening. An aquaintance, don't know him well enough to call a friend yet but well enough to know he's trustworthy, wanted to speak to me about something of mutual interest. I've tried to phone him today and vice versa but we keep missing each other and the longer I wait the more my curiousity grows.

Three things, on the same day, linked to my post of the previous day. Is Three the magic number?

One Day

Woke up this morning and thought today would have been the day, if only!

If only I was more determined, if only I had more money, if only the woman who was gonna rent us the shop hadn't pulled out for no good reason, if only the other place hadn't been sooo small and twice the rent!

If all those things were different then today would have been the day my bookshop opened, La Libreria.

Of course if it had happened I would been working 7 days a week from now on cos I would have had to also sell newspapers & magazines and stuff to make it pay but since I don't really do anything at all at the moment it would have been OK. For a while!

Oh well, one day, if it's meant to be, it'll happen.