Doesn't Time Fly!

4 months of flying by in this case and it really has flown. There's been no time to sit around wondering what would happen next, although 'what next' is a constantly recurring question, just have to ask it on the run.

I got through my radiotherapy with eyelashes intact but a few bald patches, the most noticeable one right on the crown of my head at the parting but fortunately I couldn't see it in the mirror so I didn't let it bother me. More of a problem was the fact that I couldn't colour my hair until 3 months after my treatment finished - that's 4.5 months of re-growth and as the grey roots grew my confidence plummeted and I avoided looking in mirrors, shop windows or any vaguely reflective surface.

Of course life continued during these low ebb months and at a pace I've never experienced before, made worse by the tiredness caused by the radiotherapy.

The house purchase in England went through very smoothly, so smoothly we completed about 10 days early. That meant moving only 3 days after my treatment finished and spending a weekend packing boxes when I should have been resting. Of course I thought it would be fine because I could rest at the other end but oh no, that was not to be. We couldn't get the heating going in the new house, a very old house but new to us, and then the weather turned nasty, well it was December. We were without heating, other than a borrowed convector heater, for 3 weeks and spent much of it huddled in to 1 room. The rest of the time we were running around trying to get quotes for various jobs and visiting hospitals to see a close friend who was very ill and some general running about helping to get things sorted for him.

Even Christmas couldn't go smoothly as I had to pick the kids up on different days, one of them on Christmas day afternoon while the dinner was cooking on a low heat. Peaceful it wasn't but I guess it was kind of fun in the end and they both stayed a few days so we had some rest time.

January saw the round of hospital visits start up again for myself as well as our friend this time and I had the first of two trips up to Glasgow for check ups, the second being in February. All is well with my treatment and I'm not due another check until September but we are on regular hospital trips with our friend who is now on chemotherapy. That's likely to go on until mid April at least.

In the middle of all this we have still been trying to sort our our house refurbishment and have only got round to the bathroom re-fit this week, 3 months after moving in. It was a nightmare getting quotes and the reality of the refit has been worse - a week and it's still not finished. I am now sworn off more work on the house for a few months apart from essential jobs or minor decorating but despite all that I've been looking for a job. Yes, with all that going on I've still managed to get bored.

Physical activity and stress do not necessarily stimulate the mind and they certainly do nothing to help with the lack of routine and stability. Of course jobs are scarce at the moment and with my recent medical history it's tough convincing employers I'm not a bad risk so in the short term I've decided to do some voluntary work. Next week I start work with a charity called Headway that works with people who have an acquired brain injury. It seemed kind of appropriate since my tumour is technically a brain tumour, although I've been lucky and not suffered any neurological damage - or as the registrar put it "the effects are mainly mechanical"!

As new beginnings go this one is taking a long time to get going but hopefully I'm on the right road now, after all it's March and that means Spring is just around the corner. The season of new beginnings.

Running

Running

Rat race in full swing

Running to stand still

Underpaid, overworked, taxed to the hilt

Two weeks holiday crammed into one

Dreams of escaping fuelled briefly

Shades of grey defining seasons

Light grey where summer blue should be

Winter’s dark and leaden skies oppress

A week’s holiday crammed into a long weekend

Dreams of escaping dimly remembered

Work engulfs, targets raised

Deadlines made and missed

Rumours fly, speculation abounds

A long weekend becomes one day flextime

There was a dream once

Wasn’t there?

The Last Day of Summer

A chill breeze steals the warmth from the sunless day; insidious in its demand for attention.

“Summer’s gone, summer’s dead” seems to be the soft whisper of the breeze, heard beneath the cheerful banter of the last visitors and the ever optimistic drone of ‘Hey Baby’ from the stereo.

Chocolate Surprise Sundaes are rejected in favour of Treacle Sponge and Custard as the day succumbs to the breeze and the chill reaches beyond the beach, past the paseo and slips into the sheltered confines of the terrace. Tugging at turned up collars, denied by the jeans that have replaced shorts, only discarded serviettes paying it scant attention.

Remnants of summer linger, forlorn dog-eared flyers drift into corners of car parks, carelessly discarded ice-cream wrappers blowing like tumbleweed, assisted by that oh so insistent chill breeze; determined to push summer away.

Back out, across the paseo, beyond the beach, the sea joins in the sombre mood of the day. Gone is the blue sparkling light dancing off the waves, replaced with an angry churning grey, like unpolished steel, crashing onto the beach with murky grey breakers.

But far, far out to sea a tiny break in the clouds allows a glimmer of sunlight to trickle through. A tiny ray of hope on the distant horizon.

The sun is out at last :-) Woke to the sound of rain for the 5th morning in a row. Another dismal grey day in sight and the depression was sinking deeper. Is it possible to have S.A.D. after only 4 sunless days? No problem now though, the sun came out around 12.00 and every ray lifts my mood a little higher!